Want to Be Happier?

 

Here's How!

 

 

 

Before you can get more happiness, you have to assess and let go of

what is interferring with you becoming more happy?

 

The more Anxiety, Stress, Fear, Worry, Depression, Anger, Guilt and Shame you RELEASE

the more Relaxed, Happy, Confident, Peaceful and Successful you will become.

Revisiting

Some Factors Associated with Happiness

 

Remember on the "More Happiness?" page we looked at some factors that were connected with Happiness?I'd like to go back and review those factors briefly to see how good you feel about yourself in these areas?

 

On a scale of 10, with 10 being the happiest, rate how happy you are in each of the areas of your life listed below. As you go, if it turns out you didn't give yourself a "10" for a particular area, think of those things that are blocking or interferring with you achieving a "10" score. 

______________

What is your overall Mindset - Positive or not so much?

Financial: Do you have Job satisfaction/Money? Do You Love Your Career/Job? 

Relationships - Are you Satisfied in this area? If not why not?

Community - An issue for you?

Purpose: liking what you do each day and motivated to achieve your goals?

Physical: having good health and enough energy to get things done daily

and

Being at Peace with Your Past:

This one is of particular interest to me as it should be to you

because

This is the one main reason why you aren't Happy

and Why You Won't be Happy until you let go of the Past

For many people, regret is a lifelong cause of unhappiness. People who aren’t at peace with their past can never be completely happy in the present. Since the past cannot be changed, the only way to keep your past from ruining your present is to make peace with it.  How you do that will be up to you but it has to be done before you can be truly happy.

Not making Peace with your Past is what is blocking/interferring with you getting more happiness in those areas in your life above where you didn't get a "10" score!

No matter how you faired in the above self-assessment, I'll bet that those areas that you scored less than "10" in had to do with your insecurities that you picked up along the way.

Insecurities are defined as "uncertainty or anxiety about oneself; lack of confidence or assurance, self-doubt…(or) the state of being open to danger or threat; lack of protection".

Some examples of the emotional insecurities I'm referring to are thoughts and feelings of fear, self-doubt, pessimism and self-sabotage. Thoughts and beliefs like "I'm not good enough", "I'm not smart enough", "I'm not deserving", I'm not worthy", etc.

These insecurities are not who you are,

they are just things you picked up along the way. 

 

We internalize what we've been conditioned to.

 

My Story

To give you an example of what I mean, I'm going to give you my own childhood experience which led to decades of a very strong false belief that influenced my life negatively in numerous ways until I was able to let it go.

When I was around 10-11 years old, in sixth grade going into 7th, my parents (my mother and step-father) learned that I got in the Honors curriculum when I went into 7th grade. I had never really gotten along with my stepfather since he married my mother when I was around 5 y.o. or so, but this announcement from the school system put this adverse relationship into high gear. 

From that point on he found a way to call me stupid at least five times a day. I didn't realize it at the time, but my mother also was not nearly as supportive as she could have been and even said to me at one point, "You can be smart but don't be smarter than me". And, believe it or not, my real father was a Jehovah Witness who believed if you used your intelligence you would turn away from God. Huh? 

With these three major influences in my life not only not being supportive but were very much doing the opposite, for whatever reason, I began to believe I was stupid, or that it certainly wasn't safe for me to be smart and use my intelligence. 

So, every year in school after that, my grades continued to go down until my guidance counselor in 12th grade said to me that I would be "lucky to get into trade school" with my grades. It took me 20 years and 4 colleges to get my Bachelor's Degree. At 40 years old, I attended an Advanced Standing Clinical Social Work curriculum at Columbia University and received my Graduate Degree in a year and a half. By that time I had fought off my false belief of being stupid enough to get into and graduater from Columbia but I still did not believe in myself enough to attend my graduation ceremony. It took me another couple of years after that to officially acknowledge what I had done by returning to the Columbia book store and purchasing one of those tassles that are on the graduation caps to hang on the rearview mirror in my car to constantly remind me what I had accomplished.

Now I realize that my stepfather was threatened because he was very insecure and my mother was also threatened because her claim to fame and the thing she was most proud of was that she was "valedictorian' of her class (a one room school house in the country composed of 9th-12th graders).

But, it took me a long time to come out the other side of this incredibly strong false belief. And, this false belief was the total opposite of what was the truth. I was accepted into an Honors Program when I was very young so society acknowledged my intelligence but because my family of origin did not, I internalized what I was had been conditioned to think by those that were closest to me.

So, this is just one example of one insecurity caused by a false belief that not only wasn't true but it was the opposite of the truth, yet it determined the course of my life for decades because I believed it was true because of the constant conditioning from others in my early environment. And, even though I had 10 years of talk therapy during this period, I did not start RELEASING my intense feelings of being stupid until I started working on myself with E.M.D.R. and Brainspotting, with Brainspotting being the Quickest, Easiest and most Effective by far. 

So, to be more happy with who you are,

you have to RELEASE

the negative thoughts, beliefs, and feelings 

that are making you unhappy.

I WILL HELP YOU DO JUST THAT!

with Brainspotting and the other more progressive,

much more effective therapeutic methods

that I have been using on myself and my clients for years,

the Quickest, Easiest and most Effective being Brainspotting!

The more Anxiety, Stress, Fear, Worry, Depression, Anger, Guilt and Shame you RELEASE

the more Relaxed, Happy, Confident, Peaceful and Successful you will become.

CALL ME!

 

I CAN HELP YOU

TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE!

 

(914) 242-3484

 

 

Brainspotting  

Will Get You There!

Brainspotting Specialist

                                                             

Dave Dodge, L.C.S.W., C.B.S.P.

 

Skype Sessions are available

 

  (914) 242-3484       Mt. Kisco, N.Y.     dave@acceleratedhealingsolutions.com