Is thinking positive that easy, especially if you've had multiple negative life experiences?

There’s been a lot of talk and hundreds of books written over the years about positive thinking.  These suggest that by changing your thoughts from negative to positive your life will change for the better.

At first glance, the statement “change your thoughts and you can change your life for the better” sounds like an easy fix. This is probably the main reason why it sells so many books! We’re given the impression that all we have to do is think positive thoughts and all the negative ones will just magically disappear. They tell us things like: “Think Positive! Don’t pay attention to those negative thoughts that you’ve been thinking your entire life! Just change your focus to positive thoughts by following our simple directions.”

And what are those simple directions?  “Just stop it!” (thinking negative thoughts), and “Just do it!” (think positive thoughts)

Here’s the thing, though…If it were as easy as they make it sound, then everyone would be doing it, right? 

And, if you can’t “just do it”, the implication is that you aren’t doing it right or there must be something really wrong with you that you’re not able to do it like other people seem to.  And where does that lead?  It feeds right back into another cycle of negative thinking that says you’re not smart enough, not good enough, etc.

But here’s the truth!

In reality it’s not at all that easy to change our thoughts, no matter what we’re led to believe by most books. I can’t stress this enough. Our thoughts, whether negative or positive are attached to deep-seated beliefs that are in our unconscious mind. We are what/who we believe we are, and then we feel and act accordingly.

We’ve formed these thoughts and beliefs throughout an entire life of conditioning from our family systems, societal institutions, religious upbringing, etc., and we cannot simply change these thoughts and beliefs because we decide on a conscious level that we want to make them go away.

A lot of the time we don’t even know certain thoughts or beliefs exist in our unconscious mind, let alone know how to easily change them. Most of our negative thinking is so deeply entrenched that it cannot be affected in the least by conscious methods like willpower or making up your mind to “just stop it”.

Your unconscious mind determines your behavior.  The unconscious rules and is the final decision maker of all of your thoughts and beliefs, and these in turn cause your feelings and behaviors. Bottom line: when the unconscious mind is not willing to release old ingrained thoughts and beliefs, new, positive ones will not be able to come into play.

If you don’t believe me, ask someone who has tried to quit smoking a hundred times or the person who constantly goes on diets to lose weight, or the one who can’t stop being depressed because he wants to or the person that can’t stop having anxiety or panic attacks without medication, or the person who wants to reduce their drinking or drugging but has difficultly, etc., etc., etc.

There’s a great skit from a MAD TV episode with Bob Newhart called “Stop It” which beautifully illustrates how absolutely ridiculous it is to think that we can stop deeply entrenched fears and negative beliefs by just saying “Stop It”: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-Tej0297wk)  As we have already established, in order to truly let go of one’s negative thoughts/beliefs one has to engage in methods and therapies that can actually interact and influence the unconscious mind

But there is an answer!

Even though you can’t change your thoughts from negative to positive just by saying “Stop It”, you can definitely let go of your negative thoughts and beliefs and allow other, more positive ones to come forward.


How do I know this? Like a lot of people, I got pretty mentally and emotionally screwed up when I was a kid because of the circumstances of my upbringing. In my early adulthood I tried to work these things out in talk therapy but after ten years of traditional talk therapy I still had almost as much anger/rage, anxiety, fear, and depression as I had when I walked in ten years prior.

I was flooded with way too much raw emotion that had built up from the trauma and distress of my childhood and had gotten “trapped” or “stuck” in my psyche. And talk therapy just did not have the key to get me unstuck.


Because of my lack of success with talk therapy, as well as repeatedly witnessing my clients being “stuck” with similar overwhelming emotions, I started working with alternative therapies and methods. These techniques were not only incredibly effective in allowing me to finally let go of my anger/rage, anxiety, fear and depression, but they have also hugely benefitted the many clients I work with in my practice.  See what my clients say about Brainspotting.

The Holistic/Alternative Therapies I've found over the years were able to help me RELEASE my anger/rage, anxiety, fear, depression, guilt, shame, and, even some physical pain I was having for quite a while.
BRAINSPOTTING being the best of these Alternative Therapies and giving me the most "WOW" in terms of the depth, preciseness and thoroughness this method provides in RELEASING what I call my emotional "extra-charge".

So, you can't get happy or positive just by thinking positive. But you most certainly can get more happy and positive by RELEASING the Negative Thoughts, Beliefs and emotions that have been causing your unhappiness! 

How can you RELEASE your Negative Thoughts, Beliefs and Feelings? You can RELEASE these with Brainspotting (and other Alternative Therapies I use). For an explanation of how this is possible, go to the webpage Why I Can Help You RELEASE Your Issues.







(914) 391-4350



Will Get You There!

Brainspotting Specialist


Dave Dodge, L.C.S.W., C.B.S.P.


Skype Sessions are available


  (914) 391-4350       Mt. Kisco, N.Y.     dave@acceleratedhealingsolutions.com 

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