Next time you feel anxious, angry, guilty, shamed, critical, resistant, needy, depressed or hurt, try opening your arms and welcoming this wounded part of you. Explore the beliefs behind these feelings and you might discover your victim. Then welcome that part with great love and compassion. The more you learn to compassionately and tenderly manage the deeper painful feelings of loneliness, heartbreak and helplessness that underlie your controlling, protective addictive behavior, the less like a victim you will feel. Certainly, there will always be people who treat you with meanness and ill will, but when you learn to embrace the pain of this with much kindness and compassion toward yourself, you find that you no longer take their behavior personally, and therefore no longer feel like a victim.