WHY DO WE THINK, FEEL AND
DO THE THINGS WE DO?
Please scroll down or click on the underlined topics to find the information related to the topics listed below.
What are your issues and where do they come?
The Behavioral Equation
Our Thoughts/Beliefs = Our Feelings = Our Behaviors
What is Trauma?
Big "T" and Little "t" Trauma
The Effects of Trauma = your issues/conditions
Why traditional talk therapy doesn't usually work
What Causes Our Negative Feelings and Dysfunctional Behaviors?
The Behavioral Process
[according to the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (C.B.T.) equation]
Your thoughts/beliefs = your feelings = your behaviors
Positive thoughts/beliefs = positive feelings = positive behaviors
Negative thoughts/beliefs = negative feelings = negative behaviors
Therefore, your thoughts/beliefs = your reality
So, if you start off with positive thoughts and beliefs you will end up with wonderful positive feelings and behaviors. And, if you start out with negative thoughts or beliefs you will end up with negative feelings and negative/dysfunctional behaviors.
And, these equations become self-fulfilling prophesies, which means that if you start off with negative thoughts and beliefs, no matter what you do, and no matter how much positive thinking you try to do over the unconscious negative thoughts/beliefs, you will always eventually will end up with those old negative behaviors and feelings.
All negative beliefs come from the trauma,
distress or stress in our lives, either real or perceived
We are especially vulnerable to the trauma, distress and/or stress during our early years when our minds and emotions are still developing. Our negative thoughts, beliefs and feelings then become deeply entrenched and very hard to change at that stage.
In order to change these default feelings and behaviors you have to change your thoughts and beliefs. And, in order to do that you have to do more try to forceably think positive thoughts on a conscious level. The change has to come from within your unconscious.
Since traumatic, distressful and stressful situations causes the negative thoughts and beliefs that then cause one's negative feelings and behaviors, the only way to change these thoughts and beliefs is to RELEASE the negative thoughts and beliefs by RELEASING the original trauma, distress or stress that caused the negative thought or belief to begin with. When you RELEASE these traumatic episodes from the psyche, the negative thoughts and beliefs created from those traumatic experiences are RELEASED as well.
Therefore, the negative feelings and negative behaviors
caused by those negative thoughts and beliefs
will also be RELEASED ONCE AND FOR ALL!
And, how I know that I CAN HELP YOU RELEASE ALL OF THE CONDITIONS LISTED ON MY HOMEPAGE is because I am very experienced and knowledgeable about a number of Therapeutic Methods that WILL HELP YOU RELEASE the trauma............ from your unconscious mind, taking the negative thoughts, beliefs, feelings and behaviors with them!
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has a list of distorted thinking/beliefs that cause our distorted/negative feelings and subsequent negative/dysfunctional behaviors.
The Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Distortion Checklist
1. All-or-nothing thinking: You restrict possibilities and options to only two choices: yes or no (all or nothing).
2. Over generalization: You view a single, negative event as a continuing and never-ending pattern of defeat.
3. Negative Mental filter: You dwell mostly on the negatives and generally ignore the positives. This is like the drop of ink that discolors the entire beaker of water.
4. Discounting the positives: You insist your achievements or positive efforts do not count.
5. Jumping to conclusions:
5a. Mind-reading: You assume people are reacting negatively to you w/o any objective evidence.
5b. Fortune-Telling: You predict things will turn out badly w/o objective any evidence.
6. Magnification or minimization: You blow things way out of proportion or minimize their importance.
7. Emotional reasoning: You base your reasoning from your feelings: "I feel like a loser, so I must be one."
8. "Mustabatory thinking" or "Shoulding All Over Yourself": You criticize yourself or other people with "musts," "shoulds," "oughts," and "have tos."
8a. Self-Directed Shoulds lead to feelings of guilt and inferiority.
8b. Other-Directed Shoulds lead to feelings of bitterness, anger and frustration.
9. Labeling: Instead of saying "I made a mistake," you tell yourself "I'm an idiot" or "I'm a loser."
10. Personalization: You blame yourself almost completely for something for which you were not entirely responsible.
10a. Self-Blame and Other-Blame. You find fault instead of solvingthe problem.
10b. Self-Blame. You blame yourself for something you weren't entirely responsible for.
10c. Other-Blame. You blame others and overlook ways you contributed to the problem.
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Or, another way to put it is:
The ABC’s of Behavior
(from Albert Ellis' Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy - R.E.B.T.)
A > B > C
The Your The
Activating Beliefs Consequences
Event about (your feelings
this event & behaviors)
^ ^ ^
The “Pushers” Your “Buttons” The Consequences
of your “Buttons” of your “ Buttons”
(What pushes (What are (How did you express
your “Buttons”?) your “Buttons”?) yourself when your
buttons were pushed?)
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Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (R.E.B.T.) also has their own list of Irrational thinking/beliefs that cause our negative thinking, negative feeling and negative/dysfunctional behaviors.
12 Irrational Ideas That Cause and Sustain Neurosis
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy holds that certain core irrational ideas, which have been clinically observed, are at the root of most neurotic disturbance. They are:
1. The idea that it is a dire necessity for adults to be loved by significant others for almost everything they do - instead of their concentrating on their own self‑respect, on winning approval for practical purposes, and on loving rather than on being loved.
2. The idea that certain acts are awful or wicked, and that people who perform such acts should be severely damned - instead of the idea that certain acts are self‑defeating or antisocial, and that people who perform such acts are behaving stupidly, ignorantly, or neurotically, and would be better helped to change. People's poor behaviors do not make them rotten individuals.
3. The idea that it is horrible when things are not the way we like them to be instead of the idea that it is too bad, that we would better try to change or control bad conditions so that they become more satisfactory, and, if that is not possible, we had better temporarily accept and gracefully lump their existence.
4. The idea that human misery is invariably externally caused and is forced on us by outside people and events ‑ instead of the idea that neurosis is largely caused by the view that we take of unfortunate conditions.
5. The idea that if something is or may be dangerous or fearsome we should be terribly upset and endlessly obsess about it - instead of the idea that one would better frankly face it and render it non‑dangerous and, when that is not possible, accept the inevitable.
6. The idea that it is easier to avoid than to face life difficulties and self responsibilities, instead of the idea that the so‑called easy way is usually much harder in the long run.
7. The idea that we absolutely need something other or stronger or greater than ourselves on which to rely - instead of the idea that it is better to take the risks of thinking and acting less dependently.
8. The idea that we should be thoroughly competent, intelligent, and achieving in all possible respects - instead of the idea that we would better do rather thanalways need to do well and accept ourselves as a quite imperfect creature, who hasgeneral human limitations and specific fallibilities.
9. The idea that because something once strongly affected our life, it should indefinitely affect it – instead of the idea that we can learn from our past experiences but not be overly attached to or prejudiced by them.
10. The idea that we must have certain and perfect control over things - instead of the idea that the world is full of probability and chance and that we can still enjoy life despite this.
11. The idea that human happiness can be achieved by inertia and inaction instead of the idea that we tend to be happiest when we are vitally absorbed in creative pursuits, or when we are devoting ourselves to people or projects outside ourselves.
12. The idea that we have virtually no control over our emotions and that we cannot help feeling disturbed about things - instead of the idea that we have real control over our destructive emotions if we choose to work at changing the masturbatory hypotheses which we often employ to create them.
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